Your love; it's soul captivating <3

30.6.06
AHEM. ANNOUNCING THE RETURN OF HER ROYAL CARELESSNESS.

lol. I'M BACK! YAYYY!!

CTs can go and die. i cant care less. tho i was very careless during math.
determinants of PED. *

econs was some omggxxified bomb. (yayyy! i'm catching on with the lingoing! gp tchrs rejoice!) i'm pretty sure i wrote economics, since i dont understand what i was writing. but rest assured i'll lose like 10+++ marks anyways BECAUSE I DINT SEE THAT THE LAST QUESTION WAS WORTH A WHOPPING 10 MARKS! now u know why my grades will spell FOFF. >.<

e lit was quite ok, being open-book; c lit was ko, being open-book.

anyways, like i said, CTs can go and die. NATS IS COMING!
MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING!

lol. i say it like Nats comes before my birthday tho they're on the same day.

i was like in half holiday mood this morning when i was supposed to study for c lit. and i was counting down the minutes until i'll be back riding the waves with gideon in macritchie.
XD

gideon missed me. in fact he turned a paler shade of green.

Nay, but this dotage of mine o'erflows the measure! **
XD

yayyayyay i'll be back in marcritchie in like less than.. uh..9 hours! marvy! :) :) :)

this post is damn skippy. but then again that's my state of mind now. so u can take this post as reflective of my expertise in using the stream of consciousness writing technique! :) :) i sound so intelligent.

oh yah, a lesson in basic courtesy:
me and amanda we taking 156 to j8 after water today. we walked to the end of the bus, there was one empty seat, amanda sat down. this h.c. guy stood up from the seat that was beside man's and said to me, "let u sit lah". omggxx. so nice right?? amanda was like, "if only..." i think we know what's the rest of her sentence. X)

* for all u non-economists: we study the determinants of Price Elasitcity of Demand using the mnemonic SHIT. tho the tchrs are infinitely more polite than i am and they attempt to hide the corrupt stuff they're teaching us by telling us it spells HITS or THIS. i say, "THIS SHIT HITS".
** for all u uncultured un-lit-up people, it's the opening lines to Antony and Cleopatra

go to, then; your considerate stone.
11:01 PM
0 comments

19.6.06
#95
i think i have ADD.
look:

Inattention ADD symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder:
  • often fails to give close attention to details.
  • often makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities. (my math tutor can testify to this. btw, she thinks i'm 35kg!! lol. imser. when i told her i'm 49 she couldnt get over it till i explained that muscles are heavier than fats. then she said i hide it well. HAHA. she was a canoeist in NUS too!!)
  • often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
  • often becomes easily distracted by irrelevant sights, sounds and extraneous stimuli.
  • often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
  • often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace.
  • often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities.
  • often avoids tasks, such as schoolwork or homework, that require sustained mental effort. (YAYYY! someone understands me!!)
  • often loses things necessary for tasks or activities, like school assignments, pencils, books, or tools. (i've left my bottle which the canoobs christened 'Ultimate' behind countless times, not forgetting my handphone, my wallet..)
  • often is forgetful in daily activities.
  • rarely follows instructions carefully and completely.

People with ADD symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder who are inattentive display difficulty keeping their mind on any one thing. They may get bored easily with a task and bounce to the next task, and the next task after that. Organizing and completing a task proves troublesome, though they may give undivided and effortless attention to activities and topics they enjoy. People with ADD symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder often find that focusing deliberate, conscious attention to learning something new is extremely difficult.
As a result, homework may be agonizing for people with the symptoms of ADD. They might forget to write down assignments or bring home the right books to complete the assignments. When doing homework, people with the symptoms of ADD typically find their minds drifting every few minutes.

HELP!!! :S

i knew it. i knew there was something my parents have been hiding from me.

HAHA.


go to, then; your considerate stone.
5:24 PM
0 comments

18.6.06
i think it's time for a drastic measure: i need to peel myself away from the computer and live without it for the whole of next week..
butbutbut i cant live without reading what nonsense my fellow canoobs have posted! argh. someone shoot me..

.. doesnt help that i have a really short attention span. like really short. i cant sit still for more than half an hour. when i study, i need to roam around the house (mainly to look for food) constantly.
maybe it'll help if i velcroed myself to the seat like how my mum used to threaten to do when i was a kid.

hmm.

i'm so stressed over studies now the area between my neck and shoulders feels pretty sore.

argh.

now it's not about my mum giving me pressure to study, it's me. yaiks. i used to think this can only happen when the sky falls and all things impossible happen. but then again, yknow what adidas says, "impossible is nothing".

sigh. i'm rubbishing.

nvm. this shall be my motivation:

go to, then; your considerate stone.
11:39 AM
0 comments

17.6.06
grr. my tagboard is damn screwed up. u need to click on the 'R' icon or the eye icon thingamajig) to see the tags. hurumph.

today's trng.. (what else can i ever talk about?) was for lack of a better descriptive, interesting. there was the national squad selections time trials going on at the same time so we could only paddle around in the 'pond' nearby.. u would've thot that that would mean that trng will be light and stuff given the circumstances right?

well, u thot wrong! haha. jiaolian decided to drop a bomb on our heads: RESISTANCE TRNG.
yep. that's right. the return of the oh-so-glam life-jacket-assisted resistance trng.

let me just tell u that having to row round and round and round and round that bloody small pond with a life-jack strapped to the front of the boat is no joke. it's mind-numbing. it's like, oh here i go again, hmm.. look nice tree in front, let's try to row towards it.. (5 mins later) hmm. nice tree still in front. c'mon yang, u can go faster than that! oh there goes another happy couple on their K2.. thanks a lot for crossing my path!
.. and the waves that the life-jack generated were hella big and noisy. tsktsk. who says u can come to macritchie to find peace and quiet? doesn't help that some old ah peks like to come at 7 in the morning and scream their lungs out at the trees

anyways. the after-effects of resistance made up for all the boringness of it lah. i actually felt the kinda glide u supposedly only get on Ks :)

speaking of Ks, i rowed K2 with java for fun today after my programme was done! OMGGXX. those good ole days... freaking high-inducing!!! like i felt damn stable inspite of a persistent right tilt and we were ZOOMING around!!! this is the second time i've done K2 in 2 trngs.. the last one was with tracy, and i was front man but guess what? I FORGOT THAT A RUDDER EXISTS. LOL!. so we were doing a lot of manual ruddering (ooops!!), but i also felt quite stable.. until we started bursting, or trying to anyways. lol..
when we came up jiaolian said, "ok, ming nian ni hua K2" ("ok, next year u row K2")
O__0
currently, i dun even dare to think of that. cos gideon needs me. lmao. no lah. but i have really grown to love T1s. like at first, it was damn boring, yknow the whole single-craft loneliness? yah. then i discovered tilting, thanks to peishan (her bursts are... to use a rj lingo: damn imba) and it got funner.. then i discovered bursting and it got even funner. :D

oh wait! speaking of bursts.. last trng or was it last last trng, i was finishing up my 2k 'race thing', i was at like the 4th buoy, when i heard some guys shout "BURST!", then this aquamarine advantage K2 started inching up beside me. i sorta instinctly started bursting extra hard, and in the end i think the K2 (which i then realised was j q u e k and p o h's) was like 1 cm ahead of me when we crossed the finishing line.. then guess what they did? they cheered. like "YAYYY" cheered. -.- "'
afterwards amanda told me she heard them say they wanna try and overtake me.
uh.. tell me why i found that freaking amusing?
oh i dunno, maybe..

  1. they are j2s
  2. they are guys
  3. they were in a K2, correction, advantage K2?

XD

CTs are looming up ahead. i am so gonna become a hermit crab next week. like train, rush home, eat, nap, mug, train, rush home, eat, nap, mug, train, rush home, eat, nap, mug...

hohum. welcome to existence!

whatever. funny:
  • If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call
    him vile names.
  • Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

FUNNIEST:

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.


    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    6:15 PM
    0 comments

    12.6.06

    "oh look! gideon is safe and sound!"
    ".. and green."
    "haha, that's because he's green with envy!"
    "at what? the rj boat you went out with today?"


    this is not good. i am too attached to gideon. he's just a normal boat for goodness sake!! a seemingly very valiant and sleek one.. but just a normal boat.

    today's trng was ok lah, quite light. thank god tho, cos my left bicep feels quite crap. shall go deep heat it.
    i think it's a result of the three quarter pull up i did on sat. I STILL CANT DO A FULL PULL UP! how bloody sad.. :C but jiaolian says it's prolly because i never use the right muscles. i dunno leh. but it's true that i cant seem to contract my back muscles the way u're supposed to.
    whatever lah. i give myself until my birthday to do one full pull up. because my birthday is on the first day of NSC!! cool aiight? :)
    [edit] i am so lag. i just realised that my birthday is one month away! strange how i only noticed that NSC is one month away before now. [/edit]


    ..maybe i'll set my sights on 5 pullups. hmmm.

    today, for the second time in my life, i double stepped up 26 (TWENTY SIX!!) floors to my house. until last week i have never ever climbed up twenty six storeys (that's 52 flights of stairs, 520 steps, feels like 260 lunges since i'm so short), not even leisurely. X)


    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    3:11 PM
    0 comments

    11.6.06
    might have ben hur
    i've changed the url for this blog. it's now http://godspeed-.blogspot.com
    Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
    Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
    Fish bite moonbeams every night
    And I love you

    Godspeed, little man
    Sweet dreams, little man
    Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
    Godspeed
    Sweet dreams

    The rocket racer's all tuckered out
    Superman's in pajamas on the couch
    Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
    And I love you

    Godspeed, little man
    Sweet dreams, little man
    Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
    Godspeed
    Sweet dreams

    God bless mommy and match box cars
    God bless dad and thanks for the stars
    God hears "Amen," wherever we are
    And I love you

    Godspeed, little man
    Sweet dreams, little man
    Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
    Godspeed
    Godspeed
    Godspeed
    Sweet dreams

    Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)Dixie Chicks



    if you cant tell, Godspeed is my favourite word right now and has been for a while, since before NWKC06. was thinking of changing blog url to "golden-" cos of the switchfoot song, but dunno why it just dint stick. and "yangster"'s taken.. was toying with "incorrigibleyangster" and "mighthavebenhur" but both are kinda long. and my friends cant spell very well.. JUST KIDDING! lol.

    i dont know.
    we'll see how much staying power "godspeed-"'s got.
    oh and it's got a dash "-" cos "godspeed"-sans-dash is taken.

    yknow what, i suspect it http://godspeed.blogspot.com is just a blog the good (ahem!) people at blogger put in so that when they say this url isnt available, i'll be deluded into thinking blogger's got many bloggers. because if u go to that add, u wun understand a single word that's written.

    hmm.
    so much for "don't be evil".
    don't get the link? nvm, i don't either.
    sigh.

    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    1:45 PM
    0 comments

    10.6.06
    i dunno about everyone else. but i think the canoobs inspire me to no end. we fight and fight and dont give up.

    i think we give the j2s some pressure. actually, we're definitely giving them some pressure. but that's good. because ideally, they will take it the right way and drive themselves further. i know i may sound like i'm cold hearted or something.. i mean seriously, can you imagine training for one and a half year just to find out you wont actually be competing in nationals? but then again, i think this is one situation where no one can afford to be soft hearted. because at the end of the day, if u're not competing, and you reflect upon it, and realise that u dint get where you want to be becuase u didnt give ur all... if we hope to see the team's dream materialised, there's really no two ways about it.
    harsh, yah, but i guess that's team sports for you.

    i will sweat, tear and bleed for the team. i am willing to do whatever it takes to help the team be one step closer to the gold. whatever it takes. but one person can only do so much, so i really hope my teammates can put our hearts together in this uphill task, and go the displacement, together.

    before this month's intensive trainings, i was doubting our team's chances at getting at the gold this year, and felt that it was more important that we set our sights on the bronze, hold on to it, and protect it.

    but now that we're training like some bloodthirsts, i start thinking about the gold..
    and i realise, why am i limiting myself? why are we setting a boundary for the team? why are we settling for what's not the best?

    most importantly, why must we let a fear of nat'ljc overcast everything that we do?
    so long as we fight tooth and nail for it, i think we're justified to stop viewing ourselves as the underdogs. at least, if to view ourselves as underdogs is to feel that we can only achieve so much, and nat'ljc will continue to reign over us, as they always (or almost alywas anyway) have.
    if we want to view ourselves as underdogs, let it be so that it becomes a motivation for us to work harder at that pushup, to thrust the paddle's blade further into the water, and to focus that extra bit more during trngs.

    YOU ARE NEVER A LOSER, UNTIL YOU QUIT TRYING ANYWAY.


    Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
    or what's a heaven for?

    Robert Browning



    other than the team, i also have a personal motivation: everything that i achieve, i'm doing it for God.

    i think it's not by chance i picked canoeing as a cca, i think God knows that it's somewhere that i can really shine for him..because yknow, i'm not where i am right now because i have immense strength (i certainly dont) or natural talent.. i guess i'm here because i have learnt that strength fades, talents go wasted if you dont put it to good use, but God is everlasting. all that i have, it's all God-given. just because i ask Him for it. so really, He has helped me come so far.. and He has blessed me with supportive and loving teammates, and a chance to patch up relations with my mum after the whole canoeing/studying fiasco, it's time i give something back.

    "i feel like screaming now"
    "go ahead and scream"
    "THANK YOU GOD."

    NWKC 2006, after my final race


    that's something i want to do again, proclaim Your majesty for the world to know.
    the wonders You have done in me, Your faithful love.. it's indescribable.
    Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.

    You hear me when i'm calling,
    and You caught me when i was falling.
    I am YOURS.


    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    7:03 PM
    0 comments

    8.6.06
    today's trng was good again! haha. can that pass for a blog entry? :P i am one lazy girl when it comes to blogging on my own blog.. oops! :)
    but whatever, a picture speaks a thousand words right? so i'll just..
    bintan low elements- canoeist style. XD
    envy me my second home. it is very very very very b-e-a-u-tiful!
    and
    this is my baby. my precioussssss. wait.. i think i've got a pic of me in The Gideon somewhere..


    argh. i cant put anymore pics up! bleh.
    anyways, God's been good to me. :)
    my mum and i are getting along just fine (we went shopping yesterday!!! score 1!), i'm mugging like i should tho not as intensively yet, and my trng's shaping up good! yayyy!

    Who am I?
    That the Lord of all the earth,
    Would care to know my name,
    Would care to feel my hurt.
    Who am I?
    That the bright and morning star,
    Would choose to light the way,
    For my ever wandering heart.

    Chorus:
    Not because of who I am,
    But because of what you've done.
    Not because of what I've done,
    But because of who you are.

    I am a flower quickly fading,
    Here today and gone tomorrow,
    A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
    A vapor in the wind.
    Still you hear me when I'm calling,
    Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
    And you've told me who I am.
    I am yours.    I am yours.

    Who am I?
    That the eyes that see my sin
    Would look on me with love
    And watch me rise again.
    Who am I?
    That the voice that calmed the sea,
    Would call out through the rain,
    And calm the storm in me.

    Chorus 2x

    I am yours.
    I am yours.

    Whom shall I fear?
    Whom shall I fear?
    'Cause I am yours.
    I am yours.

    Who am I Casting Crowns


    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    7:13 PM
    0 comments

    6.6.06
    loneliness is just a state of mind.
    no seriously. i feel so good with my canoe girls. i can always get high with them, even if i just quarrelled with my mum, even if trng sucked.. everyone's just plain crazy, it's like a pre-requisite to joining canoe or sth. :) i love it that we always have hella fun together.
    my canoe girls are my pick-me-ups. :)
    yknow, i think we're a really tough bunch of people. we'll make it thru to the finals during nats next year, every single one of us, somehow. it's a dream i'll give my all for.
    'cause we're green black and white, and as maniacs we'll fight fight and fight.

    ___

    Here I am, where I’ve been
    I’ve walked a hundred miles in tobacco skin,
    And my clothes are worn & gritty.
    And I know ugliness,
    Now show me something pretty.
    I was a dumb punk kid with nothing to lose
    And too much weight for walking shoes.
    I could have died from being boring.
    As for loneliness,
    She greets me every morning.

    At the most I’m a glare,
    I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
    I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
    I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

    At the most I’m a glare,
    I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
    I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
    I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

    Here I am, where I’ve been
    I’ve walked a hundred miles in tobacco skin,
    And my clothes are worn & gritty.
    And I know ugliness,
    Now show me something pretty.

    At the most I’m a glare,
    I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
    I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
    I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

    At the most I’m a glare,
    I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
    I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
    I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

    Something Pretty Patrick Park



    this song has no meaning to me whatsoever but the tune just stuck in my head like gum. it's go this lazy sunday feel to it. :)

    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    7:42 PM
    0 comments


    Today's training was good. :)

    Maybe deep down inside, you don't believe it
    Your wailing wall, it isn't weeping at all
    And you're not worthy of adoration
    You're scared that somebody somewhere's gonna find
    the burst pipe
    And as fast as they bow down they'll leave you behind

    But baby be brave
    'Cause what's the point of it all
    What's the point of it all, yeah
    Baby, don't blow it
    Tell me what's it all for
    If you're not terrified to fail
    Are you terrified to fail

    Baby Be Brave The Corrs


    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    7:40 PM
    0 comments

    5.6.06
    there are so many things on my mind now
    but not all of them can be put on the blog

    hurumph

    how?

    anyways, looks like mum and i have finally come to a common understanding about studies and canoeing. at the very least she knows that they are equally important to me. well, that's what i make her believe la. tho i have to say.. seriously? canoeing wins out a weeeeeeee bit more.

    cos rj is like such a competitive envt when it comes to academics that i kinda lost confidence in doing well doesn't help that i dint score the humanities scholarship. so i've kinda been sustaining myself on the confidence i get from canoeing.. does anyone get me here??? i dunno. it's this rather ungraspable idea i have, that canoeing is why i still bother to be more or less disciplined when it comes to studying. it makes me feel good, good enough to wanna do well for my studies too.. argh. i just cant explain it. anyways, the elusive point here is that if i were to be forced to drop canoeing due to certain circumstance (iow flunking my cts), i will be one sad, unmotivated girl..
    ..who cant seem to stop thinking abt someone. it's blardy ridiculous. i dun even know him that well!! >.<

    last saturday's trng sucked. like big time. but yknow what? one omggxx shitified trng isnt gonna pull me down. because if there's only one thing i learnt from my 16 yrs here, it's definitely what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.

    anyways, when i really think about it right, it dint suck all that much anyways, the resistance (yes you read that right!!! jiaolian finally decided that resistance trng is good for us since we all seem to have trouble sticking the entire blade face in.. but being jiaolian, he has to resistance in his own special way for us tho, no tennis balls tied under the boat. nope. it's lifejackets tied to the front of the boat for us.. one word: glam. another word: not. another statement: the backwash we generated kills.. there was no need for fountains to keep the water un-stagnant at all.) trng was good. the 2k after that was even better. i felt like was flyinging! heck the cliche but that's exactly what i felt. omg. and i bursted for like 500m, followed by 110%maintenance??
    it felt that good.

    see? that's why i eat, sleep, dream, study, canoeing.

    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    5:32 PM
    2 comments

    2.6.06
    bintan-lovin'
    bintan has definitely left its marks on me both physically (since some bloody mosquitoes decided to show me some real bintan-lovin') and mentally (i'll never forget all the lessons on leadership we've learnt).

    yep. it's great to be back in singapore where we can finally stop eating those random chunks of bony fish and watermelon seasoned with the chilli that spilt over from other compartments in the container.. but i have to say i truly miss the atmosphere back at camp where u're constantly feeling excited about the next activity whether u've done it before or not. most importantly, i guess i kinda miss the people who helped me survive (argh! what would i have done without the dettol wipes and insect repellents??) and inspired me thru out the camp.

    in retrospective, it's amazing how we all managed to work so well together despite having such different personalities! yayyy! three cheers to C5! and not forgetting Mr Kadir of course.. :)

    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    6:16 PM
    0 comments

    1.6.06
    i need You here
    fight on, yang. fight on.
    Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for God is with you wherever you go.

    joshua 1:9



    be strong, believe.
    even as she doubts you, even as everything seems to be on a decline, hold onto God's hands, that's where you will draw your strength from.

    and finally,
    just do your best yang, and God will do the rest.

    go to, then; your considerate stone.
    2:50 PM
    0 comments
    Et toutes mes peines
    Child of God. 12th July 1989. RjcanYeist! 1/2 of Pundits of Pun. TIME Person of the Year 2006 ;) Orange! B&J's Chunky Monkey! Dark chocolates! Sleeping in on rainy days! Attention span of 600 goldfishes.

    Trouveront l'oubli

    Quand je trouverais l'amour
    Untitled: Made this myself, with help from lj.com/fd, which in my humble opinion, remains forever awesome (again, my economics lecturer withers right down to his vegetarian roots). Oh and brushes <3.

    Un jour ou l'autre
    Q Abby
    Q Annalyn
    Q Bernice
    Q CheR
    Q E.T.
    Q Sophia
    Q Trees
    I Java
    I Joo
    I Shawna
    I Soolin
    C the Mahsters
    C theonlinecitizen
    C Drawn.ca
    C Advertising/design goodness
    C Adverbox
    C Ogilvy
    C Kayaksport.net
    C Guster
    C Bicultural Trip 06 Photos

    Dust
    July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008